I wish i was someone else, i wish i was happy, i wish i have people who loves me and wants me to be around but it's not meant to be in this version of my existence, and i don't think i am okay with that, i feel that i am neither here nor there, i am nothing but a shadow of what and how i thought things would work out, every scenario i can think of, every painful past memory gets played on repeat without any warning like i can fucking literally cry in the bus on the way back like a little bitch. and i reach back in my bullshit ass room which i struggle to pay for every fucking month and just stuff my fucking face with food cos that's the only way i feel better, i am a point where i know it's getting from bad to worse, like i fucking see it but i can't stop it nor do i want to but i do feel that i have to change, i owe myself this change but i just want a little help, i want to wake up feeling happy.
waking up to the curses of incorrigible bastards are a norm.. laughing at their idiocy is also a norm.. hahaha.. ------ i can't say that i'm not disappointed, i just didn't expect it to be like this i wish things could be the same as they used to. i don't know.. ------ and i wish you would just tell me.. tell me and i won't bother you again i can be a hell of a persistent bitch if i want but i'm tired of chasing you.. i see no point in doing that anymore no point.. ------ and to the women that took care of me my whole life, not being ungrateful or what, but, you are such a bitch sometimes.. i know i have no right in calling u that but you just make yourself hate-able sometimes thanks a lot f***** ------ do girls come with manuals, pissing me off, really! must i be cautious of what i say? Fuck it! ------ "i miss my past, i hate my present, i can't wait for my future." "i'm lying if i say i don't need you, cause i really do, but it doesn...
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