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Abyss

I spent this weekend and many weekends before this not uttering s single word. 
But my thoughts and my self talk is going crazy and I am going crazy. I can't be a part of the fake shit anymore, no matter how fucked it might look from the surface level, I can't risk playing this game of when I am going to kill myself, if I turn back I will definitely kill myself, why can't guns be legal here, it would make this so much simpler, one squeeze and I am no more, I can finally rest.

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