i feel like i am worthless, i know i am, i can't amount to anything good. i spend hours telling myself that i am actually a good person with a normal life but i am not. this feeling of emptiness inside me makes me go crazy. i know i am a disappointment, a burden to your perfect family. i'm sorry for being born and brought into your perfect existence. i wished i had died with my mother. i wished i wasn't here today, at all. i am not saying this just because of a bad day or what but i have felt this way most of my life and nothing you say or you can do that will change that. i am just so tired of all this.
results are back, and i failed like shit.. seriously..i know i'm dumb.. but THIS dumb..come on.. i can't even bear to see the pink slip ever again.. i don't wanna sound like a sissy but.. even i disappoint myself.. there's no other words to describe it.. i'm so lost.. i need to get on with my fucking life. and maybe things don't come my way cause' i forget HIM i don't think of him, i don't thank him.. i feel like i have to prove something to everybody.. your faces say it all...it hit me..i let you guys down i let myself down, maybe i'm crapping and my head is playing with me.. i replayed all kinds of scenario of what could happen.. it's just that i missed the part where i would fail badly.. damn it.. i'm just lucky to have friends like qua, faz, mira, eri, jup, faritz and lately khairi..yes...thanks for the encouragements, that's all i need for now.. u tend to take granted of things and only begin to realize your mistakes once you not...
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