i feel like i am worthless, i know i am, i can't amount to anything good. i spend hours telling myself that i am actually a good person with a normal life but i am not. this feeling of emptiness inside me makes me go crazy. i know i am a disappointment, a burden to your perfect family. i'm sorry for being born and brought into your perfect existence. i wished i had died with my mother. i wished i wasn't here today, at all. i am not saying this just because of a bad day or what but i have felt this way most of my life and nothing you say or you can do that will change that. i am just so tired of all this.
There is only one way i make it through this shithole of an existance and i know i'm not gonna get it. Maybe it's a good thing that things don't work out for me in this life, but it does suck when every day is so hard to get through. Yeah i get, get over it dude. there are people who are worse off and shit, but i am not them. I have pretended to be someone i'm not for so long, amongst people who actually don't give a fuck if i'm still here or not. What's real at this point, what's things song and dance i pretend to do, day in day out, at this point. What's the point in it all ya know. Maybe i'm just bitter, maybe i'm being a bitch. I know things can be worse like being broke broke or not having anywhere to sleep, maybe i should be grateful of the little things in life, see the good and shit.
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