I wake up and wished i didn't.
I wake up wishing this pain, this anger, this emptiness was just a dream.
And for a minute i actually believed it was, but then it all come rushing back.
Like the coming of the tide i wished for it to end.
And i wish it all to end.
My year has been nothing but pain and disappointments, but so has my life, i am broke, alone and the thought of ending it all comes to my mind everyday. i have gone through one hell of a storm and somehow i am still here, i don't know how, i don't know why. it must be a sick joke to someone i guess. i am haunted by what could have been, i am ashamed of how i fucked it all up. i am ashamed of how i let other people fuck it up on my behalf, if only i knew better. but what's done is done and i am reaping what i sow. I wish everyone who is reading this dreadful post a happy new year, may it be filled with happiness and love.
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