36 huh bub, i'm still here, still struggling like i'm 14 again. the depression might be too much now, typing all this out is getting harder and harder without sobbing like a fucking kid. why am i still trying? i have no one in my life, nobody that will know if I'd kill myself, maybe i should just do it. i am just tired of it all. i will never get to feel anything real in this life. i will never experience friendships again, i will never feel what it's like to love or be loved, to be wanted and there's no one else to blame but myself.