Devil said Dance

My year has been nothing but pain and disappointments, but so has my life,
i am broke, alone and the thought of ending it all comes to my mind everyday.
i have gone through one hell of a storm and somehow i am still here,
i don't know how, i don't know why. it must be a sick joke to someone i guess.

i am haunted by what could have been, i am ashamed of how i fucked it all up.
i am ashamed of how i let other people fuck it up on my behalf,
if only i knew better.
but what's done is done and i am reaping what i sow.

I wish everyone who is reading this dreadful post a happy new year,
may it be filled with happiness and love.

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reasons to kill myself

what would be better if everything is to end now for this pathetic excuse of a life and a waste of space of an existence that i call life now. 1. No more pain in my heart and head. 2. No more stressing about money, about being able to afford dinner tonight. 3. Just be free in the nothingness of the darkness. 4. Can't be a disappointment and a failure when there is nothing in the dark huh -- what is the word that describes the pain in your heart and soul that is beyond thought? i am the poison, that's why people leave me. i hope that this gets me through one more day.