Skip to main content

I remember standing at the gate and you came to me,
You came and asked me to stop calling you mama.
My soul shattered at that moment,
I was 7 or 8.

----

I remembered giving up on myself at that moment,
I don't belong. I don't belong anywhere.

---

I dreamt i was in your embrace,
I dreamt we were laughing over dinner,
How you were proud of me and told me you love me
No matter what.
Then i woke up in the nightmare that is my life.

---

Would dying hurt?
Is it like a black tide that sweeps you into the dark ocean? Or is it like drifting somewhere?
Would anyone miss me when i'm gone?
I have spent far too long contemplating this,
Should i just get this over and done with?
I feel like the weight of all this pain is breaking my shoulders, crushing me.
And all i can afford to do is to let it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

whenever i feel myself getting near to that edge, near the bottomless pit of depression i just wanna dive in and let go and be at peace. i am living this constant cycle of knowing this will happen but i just don't know when. these dreams are getting darker and darker, i am tired of waking up in tears and sobbing.
Post a Comment
Read more
i feel it all going away, i closed my eyes and my youth is gone and i am old now, with nothing to my name, my shadow being my only company. my dreams get darker by the day, the crevice where my soul should be gets emptier and more hollow. but in my darkest times, memories of people i consider family at one point in my life crosses my mind and before my heart breaks everything seemed okay for that couple of minutes, and then reality sets in. and everything comes into focus how do you go on and pretend everything's okay when you know deep down inside that it's better off dying than to be alone. i have been alone for so long that i find myself actively avoiding everyone even though i want to be around people that want me to be around but that does not exist. everyone leaves eventually and i hate that it's still painful whenever it comes to mind, people i consider friends and family ghosting and eventually i am alone. Maybe that's how my life is supposed to end up, tired an...
Post a Comment
Read more
school's not as great as i would like it to be. but it'll do. potentially great friends. --- "trust is the easiest thing to lose, but one of the hardest to attain"
Post a Comment
Read more