reasons to kill myself

sometimes,
it's nice being alone.
but it hurts to look
around and there's
no one around.
---
but it doesn't matter,
does it?
we can live alone.
we were brought up this way,
to be independent.
---
and it sucks to be living in
a world filled with hypocrites.
been living with them my whole life,
and i'm afraid that the harder to be
different from them,
the more i am alike,
alike to them.
---
i can't describe how sucky it is
to be feeling like this.
and i know no one gives a
fuck but this blog thing is my
only output.
fuck it.
---
i tend to see how pathetic i can be,
how weak i can be.
it fucking sucks.
---
i wish i could just press a reset button,
press it,
and start my life all over again.
how i wish.
---
and yeah,
i'm done waiting for you,
i'm done waiting aimlessly,
not knowing whether the feelings mutual.
whether it will all pay off.
sigh.
goodbye,
daydream.
---
in the wake of a big improvement.