Skip to main content
i always blog about the same old shit,
the same old shit where i would go on
and on about my problems,
i've finally realized something.
Nothing about my life is gonna change,
nothing drastic, i daresay
so why wouldn't i just shut the hell up and
do something more productive?
well..
it kills me to see so much happiness in
this world,
kills me to see so much pain in this world.
---
okayy,
i have no farking idea what the hell that was
about.
see i have multiple personalities,
it's easier to live this way.
whenever you're hurt,
you can just switch and pretend that nothing
happened,
so thus decreasing the chances of you
ever feeling the pain.
it really hurts, you know.
haha
---
see?
haha..
well anyway,
i realised how much i'm being ridiculed about
me being me,
FAT.
i'm not hating being fat,
i'm just sick of this..
"puki nyer gemok"
even though the direct translation is..
vagina so fat..
haha
so yeah.
it just sucks to be referred as the "fat" one.
don't go laughing about this.
try imagining you're fat,
and people reminding you that you're
fat every single day of your life.
every single fucking day of
your life.
try living with that and
then come to me if you have a farking problem.
then i'll shove your hand in your rear end.
---
happy birthday fazwan,
live a happy life,
hakuna matata!
Vanessa's mine bitch!
thank you, mai!
even though you threaten
to kick me out of the car
over and over again.
haha
---
to be continued..

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

These past few days has been shittier than normal. How do you stay positive? Maybe it's all the junk i stuff in my face, hoping to fill the big motherfucking hole in my life. I'm so deep in the hole that the light goes in and out for a split second before it disappears and leave me, There was a time when i used to look forward to the future, but my body physically cringes at the thought of trying to live for another day, i sit here and wait for things to change which i know that it fucking won't but i still wait. I have cut ties from everyone that i know, all the "family and friends" but the truth is sometimes they are the ones who cut ties with me, it's hard being honest with myself cos sometimes i lie to myself to just make it through the day, that people around me actually gave a fuck but they don't. am i a narcissist? the thoughts in my head gets so deafening that i prefer silence most of the time. and when it all dials down i need to blast music in my...
Post a Comment
Read more
it's more than depressing when i find myself stuck in conversations with peers and motherfuckers who are talking about buying cars that are like half a mill and i am here thinking to myself if i can afford dinner tonight. but i pretend and laugh with them and talk out of my ass as if i knew what the fuck was going on, then after the forced conversations i find myself tracking back how much i just spent on rent alone for the past 15 years and i sink further into depression and i fall again into pit of darkness where my depression awaits i am sick and tired of being a broke ass bitch, and i can't help to feel nothing but anger for the people that pretended to love and care but fucked me over when all i needed was them. this is why i hate to write all this shit down cos i will start crying like a little bitch, i wish i can and knew how to get over this. i'm too damn grown to be breaking down all the time.
Post a Comment
Read more
i feel like i am worthless, i know i am, i can't amount to anything good. i spend hours telling myself that i am actually a good person with a normal life but i am not. this feeling of emptiness inside me makes me go crazy. i know i am a disappointment, a burden to your perfect family. i'm sorry for being born and brought into your perfect existence. i wished i had died with my mother. i wished i wasn't here today, at all. i am not saying this just because of a bad day or what but i have felt this way most of my life and nothing you say or you can do that will change that. i am just so tired of all this.
Post a Comment
Read more