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so, hi people..i've just created this blog out of boredom. well it's been a while since i've been to school, and hibernating at home can really do wonders to a person. for me, sitting here doing nothing has sparked up the creative side of my mind. Ideas surface, songs began to form, stories began to take shape..truthfully, i'm new at this blogging thingy, and it would take me quite a while to understand it...so this is what my blog's mainly for...my stories and songs..but i will also squeeze some of my "life-happenings" too..ok..till here

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Now playing: Super Furry Animals - Hello Sunshine
via FoxyTunes

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My year has been nothing but pain and disappointments, but so has my life, i am broke, alone and the thought of ending it all comes to my mind everyday. i have gone through one hell of a storm and somehow i am still here, i don't know how, i don't know why. it must be a sick joke to someone i guess. i am haunted by what could have been, i am ashamed of how i fucked it all up. i am ashamed of how i let other people fuck it up on my behalf, if only i knew better. but what's done is done and i am reaping what i sow. I wish everyone who is reading this dreadful post a happy new year, may it be filled with happiness and love.
I remember standing at the gate and you came to me, You came and asked me to stop calling you mama. My soul shattered at that moment, I was 7 or 8. ---- I remembered giving up on myself at that moment, I don't belong. I don't belong anywhere. --- I dreamt i was in your embrace, I dreamt we were laughing over dinner, How you were proud of me and told me you love me No matter what. Then i woke up in the nightmare that is my life. --- Would dying hurt? Is it like a black tide that sweeps you into the dark ocean? Or is it like drifting somewhere? Would anyone miss me when i'm gone? I have spent far too long contemplating this, Should i just get this over and done with? I feel like the weight of all this pain is breaking my shoulders, crushing me. And all i can afford to do is to let it.
cold day, cold hearts cold people, cold farts? --- anyway, have i mentioned that i am in love with smallville. haha. i am attracted to a girl that doesn't even know i exist. two hearts living in two different worlds. so ya. fuck it. --- COYS ---