I can't even afford a fucking house. I might be out of this bullshit job soon that drains my fucking soul every minute I'm here. I tried to chase a career that didn't amount to anything. 

I don't have savings, I don't have a future at this bullshit job that pays me jack shit.

I don't have anyone, I don't have a family, I don't have friends, I don't have anything.

Is it time for me to just kill myself? I should stop being a fucking pussy and just do it, there is nothing to live for besides being angry, being sad, being fucking bitter about every fucking thing, having memories of how I fucked my life up and everyone else's around me playing on repeat in my head, how I keep blaming everyone else but the problem was always me, it's like I have a cloud of poison surrounding me and infecting everything I touch or get close to.

I know nothing else but sadness and anger and pain in my heart, I just want to be wanted but nobody wants me, I keep crying whenever I try to type or write this shit out, I can't take anymore of this, my heart aches and my brain gets foggy. I just want to die, maybe there is peace there, in hell where I belong. I can't see a way out.

I'm in pain.