it's more than depressing when i find myself stuck in conversations with peers and motherfuckers who are talking about buying cars that are like half a mill and i am here thinking to myself if i can afford dinner tonight. but i pretend and laugh with them and talk out of my ass as if i knew what the fuck was going on, then after the forced conversations i find myself tracking back how much i just spent on rent alone for the past 15 years and i sink further into depression and i fall again into pit of darkness where my depression awaits

i am sick and tired of being a broke ass bitch, and i can't help to feel nothing but anger for the people that pretended to love and care but fucked me over when all i needed was them. this is why i hate to write all this shit down cos i will start crying like a little bitch, i wish i can and knew how to get over this. i'm too damn grown to be breaking down all the time.