Devil said Dance

The pattern is getting hard to deny. and the only one i can blame is myself, i create fake scenarios and false realities in my head to make it all less painful but pain is all i have left. I am trying to be happy for other people's success but it's getting hard to, don't get me wrong, i get happy to learn people around me are progressing but it's getting hard to feel that anymore when i know that i am regressing towards below mediocrity, my brain is getting tired of trying to save my emotional self. i don't know how much longer i can give this attempt in living more energy and having things work out for one fucking time without having it all fucked from the start.

i need help and i don't deserve it.

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with you all the way, if down it is then i'll go down with ya'll! ----- Hari Raya was great, haha. ----- ---------------- Now playing: T-Pain - SIXTY NINE TIMES via FoxyTunes

every word you say, it's killing me. i don't know what's happening to me, the headaches are getting worse. who i am hates who i've been, really simple quotes to distinguish reality from fantasy. ----------------- "distancing myself from reality it hurts too much here" ---------------- Now playing: Blink 182 - Adam's Song via FoxyTunes