31 this year and still suffering from shit that happened a while back. Still getting nightmares when i get sleep. i need to learn to live in my head, i don't know if that is a good thing but that is the only thing that i can do. i am still stuck here, dead end job but i can use this place cos i literally don't do shit here. i have to keep reminding myself that i have a plan and the plan is working.
These past few days has been shittier than normal. How do you stay positive? Maybe it's all the junk i stuff in my face, hoping to fill the big motherfucking hole in my life. I'm so deep in the hole that the light goes in and out for a split second before it disappears and leave me, There was a time when i used to look forward to the future, but my body physically cringes at the thought of trying to live for another day, i sit here and wait for things to change which i know that it fucking won't but i still wait. I have cut ties from everyone that i know, all the "family and friends" but the truth is sometimes they are the ones who cut ties with me, it's hard being honest with myself cos sometimes i lie to myself to just make it through the day, that people around me actually gave a fuck but they don't. am i a narcissist? the thoughts in my head gets so deafening that i prefer silence most of the time. and when it all dials down i need to blast music in my...
Comments