31 this year and still suffering from shit that happened a while back. Still getting nightmares when i get sleep. i need to learn to live in my head, i don't know if that is a good thing but that is the only thing that i can do. i am still stuck here, dead end job but i can use this place cos i literally don't do shit here. i have to keep reminding myself that i have a plan and the plan is working.
i feel like i am worthless, i know i am, i can't amount to anything good. i spend hours telling myself that i am actually a good person with a normal life but i am not. this feeling of emptiness inside me makes me go crazy. i know i am a disappointment, a burden to your perfect family. i'm sorry for being born and brought into your perfect existence. i wished i had died with my mother. i wished i wasn't here today, at all. i am not saying this just because of a bad day or what but i have felt this way most of my life and nothing you say or you can do that will change that. i am just so tired of all this.
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