I don't know why am I still here, breathing and pretending as if everything's ok. I really wanna be okay. I don't want to feel hollow inside, I don't wanna feel that I have nothing to live for, I'm not living, I'm just existing. I'm sick to the bone with everything. I just want it all to stop. I feel that i am losing myself to this darkness inside me. I fear that I like it. Like not feeling anything. Like not having to care. Please don't make it stop.
There is only one way i make it through this shithole of an existance and i know i'm not gonna get it. Maybe it's a good thing that things don't work out for me in this life, but it does suck when every day is so hard to get through. Yeah i get, get over it dude. there are people who are worse off and shit, but i am not them. I have pretended to be someone i'm not for so long, amongst people who actually don't give a fuck if i'm still here or not. What's real at this point, what's things song and dance i pretend to do, day in day out, at this point. What's the point in it all ya know. Maybe i'm just bitter, maybe i'm being a bitch. I know things can be worse like being broke broke or not having anywhere to sleep, maybe i should be grateful of the little things in life, see the good and shit.
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