i'm trying. i'm really trying, i just need a little help if that's not too much to ask. i feel age creeping up on me and i have nothing to show for it, i alienate myself from my friends, my peers and the adopted family thinking it would make me feel better but it does not, it just makes the screaming in my head echo inside, making it louder. i want to feel peace, i want to be somewhere that i belong. i can't live like this much longer, paycheck to paycheck, looking for rooms to rent. i hate it, i hate it all
My year has been nothing but pain and disappointments, but so has my life, i am broke, alone and the thought of ending it all comes to my mind everyday. i have gone through one hell of a storm and somehow i am still here, i don't know how, i don't know why. it must be a sick joke to someone i guess. i am haunted by what could have been, i am ashamed of how i fucked it all up. i am ashamed of how i let other people fuck it up on my behalf, if only i knew better. but what's done is done and i am reaping what i sow. I wish everyone who is reading this dreadful post a happy new year, may it be filled with happiness and love.
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