Skip to main content
i tried sharing my pain to an old friend and she told me i was seeking attention, 
my heart broke and that is how i knew i am alone.

i tried to let someone know i am going through this but when i do i get it all thrown in my face again.
at least now i know there is no one i can turn to.
maybe some lives are not meant to be spectacular.

don't act as if you did not kick me out of the house, don't act as if you traded my future and my money for your own flesh and blood, you killed me, i have grown up with fear and anger and ridicule that was always reserved for me from the get go, i wish your family the best but a part of it i am no more.

here's hoping i won't wake up tomorrow.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

whenever i feel myself getting near to that edge, near the bottomless pit of depression i just wanna dive in and let go and be at peace. i am living this constant cycle of knowing this will happen but i just don't know when. these dreams are getting darker and darker, i am tired of waking up in tears and sobbing.
Post a Comment
Read more
i feel it all going away, i closed my eyes and my youth is gone and i am old now, with nothing to my name, my shadow being my only company. my dreams get darker by the day, the crevice where my soul should be gets emptier and more hollow. but in my darkest times, memories of people i consider family at one point in my life crosses my mind and before my heart breaks everything seemed okay for that couple of minutes, and then reality sets in. and everything comes into focus how do you go on and pretend everything's okay when you know deep down inside that it's better off dying than to be alone. i have been alone for so long that i find myself actively avoiding everyone even though i want to be around people that want me to be around but that does not exist. everyone leaves eventually and i hate that it's still painful whenever it comes to mind, people i consider friends and family ghosting and eventually i am alone. Maybe that's how my life is supposed to end up, tired an...
Post a Comment
Read more
I remember standing at the gate and you came to me, You came and asked me to stop calling you mama. My soul shattered at that moment, I was 7 or 8. ---- I remembered giving up on myself at that moment, I don't belong. I don't belong anywhere. --- I dreamt i was in your embrace, I dreamt we were laughing over dinner, How you were proud of me and told me you love me No matter what. Then i woke up in the nightmare that is my life. --- Would dying hurt? Is it like a black tide that sweeps you into the dark ocean? Or is it like drifting somewhere? Would anyone miss me when i'm gone? I have spent far too long contemplating this, Should i just get this over and done with? I feel like the weight of all this pain is breaking my shoulders, crushing me. And all i can afford to do is to let it.
Post a Comment
Read more