Devil said Dance

what do you know of pain? it is almost always associated with something physical but it's the one you feel inside that actually hurts the most. It's when people close to you say you will never amount to anything. So what do you think of pain? It's when you finally realized that after years and years of thinking you know someone, they can instantly change in the blink of an eye and becoming just another stranger that you see walking past you in the bus or train. see you again soon.

i feel like i am worthless, i know i am, i can't amount to anything good. i spend hours telling myself that i am actually a good person with a normal life but i am not. this feeling of emptiness inside me makes me go crazy. i know i am a disappointment, a burden to your perfect family. i'm sorry for being born and brought into your perfect existence. i wished i had died with my mother. i wished i wasn't here today, at all. i am not saying this just because of a bad day or what but i have felt this way most of my life and nothing you say or you can do that will change that. i am just so tired of all this.

i really wanted to do this to change my life, i know you did you had to do, it just sucks to be at my expense. it's been almost a month of me doing nothing, i know i should be doing something other than this. i feel like i had an idea what i wanted to do, but all i'm left with is emptiness now, i feel lost, i feel like i lost my way. i know that i have to get a job but everytime i want to do it, there's this little voice that whispers to me what could have been different. i'm just tired of being a nobody, i will change my life, with or without an education.