Devil said Dance

Some point in our lives, we will just sit down. and think, think about our friends, think about our families. --- i have reached this point in my life, and i realized that i am blessed. i am blessed in a way that is unique. --- "i do not choose my friends, i do not leave my friends, i do not hurt my friends" --- that's what a someone told me. live by this 3 simple rules and you'll be just fine. --- but the thing is, i broke all 3 rules. and i guess that's why i'm like this. --- i'm not angry or sad, but sometimes, i can't help and think what would happen if i did some things differently, would everything be better? --- some say "move on" i say "fuck you all" --- this is life, i have to deal with my problems. --- and yes, eriyanti. i am a hypocrite. i don't even care if what you said wasn't aimed at me, but now it's personal. --- "take away all these unnecessary trouble" --- i'm sorry, fazwan. i'm sor...

this video is dedicated to eriyanti, haha. So much for friends anyway. hahahaha... --- i have to say this, aidil's mum cooks up great rendang. EXCELLENT! hahahahaha. ---

sometimes, it's nice being alone. but it hurts to look around and there's no one around. --- but it doesn't matter, does it? we can live alone. we were brought up this way, to be independent. --- and it sucks to be living in a world filled with hypocrites. been living with them my whole life, and i'm afraid that the harder to be different from them, the more i am alike, alike to them. --- i can't describe how sucky it is to be feeling like this. and i know no one gives a fuck but this blog thing is my only output. fuck it. --- i tend to see how pathetic i can be, how weak i can be. it fucking sucks. --- i wish i could just press a reset button, press it, and start my life all over again. how i wish. --- and yeah, i'm done waiting for you, i'm done waiting aimlessly, not knowing whether the feelings mutual. whether it will all pay off. sigh. goodbye, daydream. --- in the wake of a big improvement.

it's been farking boring these few days, highlight farking . never discredit poppy, she'll kill you. haha. --- "mama, we all go to hell" i miss some.. people. --- what if i didn't make it, would you still be by my side. fuck it. --- you know what, bla bla bla bla bla. ---

fuck you adam, fucking stupid boy. may you fucking die in the most brutal way ever. may your whole family die with you. fuck u all. children are fucking stupid, fucking irritating, fuckers. spawn of satan, fucking idiots. --- fuck you adam. that's what happen when you fuck before marriage, you get a stupid boy like adam. the stupidest boy i've ever met. a devil in disguise. --- good day, and fuck you all too.

i always blog about the same old shit, the same old shit where i would go on and on about my problems, i've finally realized something. Nothing about my life is gonna change, nothing drastic, i daresay so why wouldn't i just shut the hell up and do something more productive? well.. it kills me to see so much happiness in this world, kills me to see so much pain in this world. --- okayy, i have no farking idea what the hell that was about. see i have multiple personalities, it's easier to live this way. whenever you're hurt, you can just switch and pretend that nothing happened, so thus decreasing the chances of you ever feeling the pain. it really hurts, you know. haha --- see? haha.. well anyway, i realised how much i'm being ridiculed about me being me, FAT. i'm not hating being fat, i'm just sick of this.. "puki nyer gemok" even though the direct translation is.. vagina so fat.. haha so yeah. it just sucks to be referred as the "fat" o...

life is a very funny thing, everything is a joke. sigh. --- i've been living a dangerous life. and it sucks. --- school sucks, maybe cos i don't go that often. --- it sucks to not know what to blog about, thank you.. blank mind! --- haha