Devil said Dance

"the darkness is calling me,
calling out to me
i can't go..
not yet"
-----
the tears is really falling down my cheeks,
i can't control,
listening to songs that really
breaks my heart.
i can't take it,
thinking
"why can't i be positive,
why can't i be like the rest,
just try to be happy,
even though i'm not.
i don't even know who i am anymore,
i don't even know who i am changing to,
i don't know why this has to happen,
i don't know why i've even let this happen to myself.
---------
"the cut is too deep,
i don't think it will ever heal,
it stings like a bitch,
out of control."
--------
"it's what you do to me,
it really is"
--------
i've been taking a lot of
things for granted,
a lot
things that were
never of my concern
things that i
don't care about,
that makes me ungrateful,
unappreciative
of what others
had and is
still
doing for me,
the days are passing faster
than we know,
sooner than we expect,
we never realize it's there,
until it's all gone
gone forever.
i will not be like that,
i won't allow it
i can't be like that
--------
"any chance that we've let go,
that's the chance
that we should have taken"
---------
an old saying,
your foes
hurt you more
than the
most
hated enemy,
-----
"it's too late,
i wish i could
say something
that will get me
through this"

----------------
Now playing: Bullet for My Valentine - All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me)
via FoxyTunes

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reasons to kill myself

what would be better if everything is to end now for this pathetic excuse of a life and a waste of space of an existence that i call life now. 1. No more pain in my heart and head. 2. No more stressing about money, about being able to afford dinner tonight. 3. Just be free in the nothingness of the darkness. 4. Can't be a disappointment and a failure when there is nothing in the dark huh -- what is the word that describes the pain in your heart and soul that is beyond thought? i am the poison, that's why people leave me. i hope that this gets me through one more day.