Devil said Dance

it's been a while since i've been here,
many a times i find myself staring at this blank screen,
foggy images of recent happenings floating in my head.
i don't know where to start and i don't know where to end..

but all i know is that i have a lot of "sorry's" to say,
first and foremost,
i've not only let myself down,
i've let a friend down.
i guess i can't please everybody,
especially NOT at the same time

secondly,
to the ranger girls,
i'm sorry if i come across as rude and obnoxious sometimes,
i just..

i don't know what to say,
i don't know..

i'm sorry, ok?
i'm so sorry..

people ask me why i bother,
i say "he's my friend"
but i still mess it up,

i know this would happen,
i know..
i just don't know why i let it happen.

i wish i could replay it back again

things are so confusing..

i feel like all this happened before..
my head is so giddy..

i don't want to lose my friends,
but why do i do things that hurt them and make them angry.

i don't know..

empty,
hollow

-------------------------

"hi, i'm mr jerk-face"

"i'm sorry,
my mind is a blank,
i can't think"

----------------
Now playing: Chris Daughtry - Broken
via FoxyTunes

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reasons to kill myself

what would be better if everything is to end now for this pathetic excuse of a life and a waste of space of an existence that i call life now. 1. No more pain in my heart and head. 2. No more stressing about money, about being able to afford dinner tonight. 3. Just be free in the nothingness of the darkness. 4. Can't be a disappointment and a failure when there is nothing in the dark huh -- what is the word that describes the pain in your heart and soul that is beyond thought? i am the poison, that's why people leave me. i hope that this gets me through one more day.