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 if there is a heaven, would you be there? would you be happy? would you have forgiven my pity attempt to be someone, would you have been okay how i am not doing okay. repressed memories keep surfacing and i die inside.

i don't know how long i can go on with this life. the masks that i keep changing are getting too many to count that sometimes i get into a panic when i don't know how to react in certain situations. how am i even still alive for this long, maybe this is a curse.

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