33

 I'm beginning to have grey hairs,

yet i'm still wandering around like a fucking child.

i'm unsure of a lot of things, living alone and trying to get to the next paycheck month after month is my reality.

people say comparing is bad, but how can i hide from the truth, even i'm not that daft.

to put into perspective, after crossing out the t's and dotting the i's, i have nothing literally.

i have no one, i have no family. i have no friends, i am putting on this fake ass shit mask and pretend everything's good ya know, but it's getting old. real quick.

there is a lot of uncertainty, of whether i still want to make something out of my time here or just take the L and leave. it's not bitching out if there's no point. 

maybe that's the thing isn't it, the point of it all, what is the point of living when you can't win, how long more can i go on and be a bitch and just pretend something will work out and become old and alone and then die of a heart attack or something.

there is no one reading this shit so it's easy to bea honest i guess.