Skip to main content
i was around some happy family and i did not know that kind of happiness, that kind of love,
real unconditional love existed. I'm lost and alone and i deserve this. I felt angry and alone and my insides squirm and screamed at the same time. i don't believe that my problems is bigger than anyone else's but i just want this pain to stop. i feel my life is on repeat, like a prison of sorts, a never ending prison.

i am losing my grip on hope, on getting over this pain. i want to feel normal, to be normal but i can't. i feel like there's a hole in my heart and soul and it's getting bigger day by day. i am getting closer to the abyss than i feared.

i can never normal, i want to feel hope but i cannot, all i feel is pain and sadness and anger, i walk around in my empty shell day by day just existing.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

These past few days has been shittier than normal. How do you stay positive? Maybe it's all the junk i stuff in my face, hoping to fill the big motherfucking hole in my life. I'm so deep in the hole that the light goes in and out for a split second before it disappears and leave me, There was a time when i used to look forward to the future, but my body physically cringes at the thought of trying to live for another day, i sit here and wait for things to change which i know that it fucking won't but i still wait. I have cut ties from everyone that i know, all the "family and friends" but the truth is sometimes they are the ones who cut ties with me, it's hard being honest with myself cos sometimes i lie to myself to just make it through the day, that people around me actually gave a fuck but they don't. am i a narcissist? the thoughts in my head gets so deafening that i prefer silence most of the time. and when it all dials down i need to blast music in my...
Post a Comment
Read more
I've lost everyone i know. I let it become like this, i thought it would feel better, it does don't get me wrong, but it still feels bad. I wish i held onto some of it instead of cutting it all off. I didn't realize that it will sting like this. I'm getting older, and I'm still in pain. it doesn't get any better but i have been through this for so long that I'm almost numb to it all. But on the other hand if they were really my friends and if the friendships was worth it for them, they would've held on to this too, but they didn't. So that's that. I want to do so many things but my dark passenger trips and blocks me every single time i attempt to change. Maybe it's all fucked and i gotta learn to be at peace. 
Post a Comment
Read more
i feel like i am worthless, i know i am, i can't amount to anything good. i spend hours telling myself that i am actually a good person with a normal life but i am not. this feeling of emptiness inside me makes me go crazy. i know i am a disappointment, a burden to your perfect family. i'm sorry for being born and brought into your perfect existence. i wished i had died with my mother. i wished i wasn't here today, at all. i am not saying this just because of a bad day or what but i have felt this way most of my life and nothing you say or you can do that will change that. i am just so tired of all this.
Post a Comment
Read more