Devil said Dance

I cannot feel anything besides all this rage and pain. I pretend every single day, I pretend that i am happy. I know i am just waiting for it all to end, I want to it all to end. I get it, Not everyone gets to live the life we all dream. It just sucks so bad I feel like i am drowning. I pretend to be happy around my friends but all i want is to sleep and never wake up. To sleep and just float away. Let me sleep.

The moment i realize i can never be one of them, I can never feel what they feel. The happiness of living a fulfilling life, Of being loved through and through. I can lie and say it's okay but it's not, It's not okay to feel like this every single time i wake up. Wanting to end it all, This pain, all this anger bubbling beneath my skin. I want to feel what they feel. But i have given up, Or i am just so empty after trying my best.

I wake up and wished i didn't. I wake up wishing this pain, this anger, this emptiness was just a dream. And for a minute i actually believed it was, but then it all come rushing back. Like the coming of the tide i wished for it to end. And i wish it all to end.