The past few weeks has been draining, especially emotionally, i now know that the money for my diploma is almost gone and it's not even my fault. I'm not angry nor am i sad. Don't cry before me, i know what you will do what you have to do to keep the family afloat, it just gets a bit harder, that's all. And you don't have to return it also, at least the money have helped you, don't go about saying you wanna pawn your jewelry and stuff, i'm not asking you to return it. Please be strong.
These past few days has been shittier than normal. How do you stay positive? Maybe it's all the junk i stuff in my face, hoping to fill the big motherfucking hole in my life. I'm so deep in the hole that the light goes in and out for a split second before it disappears and leave me, There was a time when i used to look forward to the future, but my body physically cringes at the thought of trying to live for another day, i sit here and wait for things to change which i know that it fucking won't but i still wait. I have cut ties from everyone that i know, all the "family and friends" but the truth is sometimes they are the ones who cut ties with me, it's hard being honest with myself cos sometimes i lie to myself to just make it through the day, that people around me actually gave a fuck but they don't. am i a narcissist? the thoughts in my head gets so deafening that i prefer silence most of the time. and when it all dials down i need to blast music in my...
Comments