The past few weeks has been draining, especially emotionally, i now know that the money for my diploma is almost gone and it's not even my fault. I'm not angry nor am i sad. Don't cry before me, i know what you will do what you have to do to keep the family afloat, it just gets a bit harder, that's all. And you don't have to return it also, at least the money have helped you, don't go about saying you wanna pawn your jewelry and stuff, i'm not asking you to return it. Please be strong.
I've lost everyone i know. I let it become like this, i thought it would feel better, it does don't get me wrong, but it still feels bad. I wish i held onto some of it instead of cutting it all off. I didn't realize that it will sting like this. I'm getting older, and I'm still in pain. it doesn't get any better but i have been through this for so long that I'm almost numb to it all. But on the other hand if they were really my friends and if the friendships was worth it for them, they would've held on to this too, but they didn't. So that's that. I want to do so many things but my dark passenger trips and blocks me every single time i attempt to change. Maybe it's all fucked and i gotta learn to be at peace.
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