It's always easy to blame others. I know how it feels to be blamed. That was a part of my life I regretted going through, doing bad things. I know it's always easy to point the finger to someone who has committed it before but don't you think that if he didn't do it you're just piling in more pain, more guilt into him. Cos there's no way for him to deny it and you believing him. Put yourself in his shoes, feel his pain, feel his anger. Even though he did all those things before in his teen, don't you think he could have change and maybe it's you who misplace it. The feeling when your own family don't trust you, don't believe your words, give you that dirty look, the feeling just makes you want to kill yourself. I know I'm the one to be blamed cos I put myself in this situation but I try to change, be good. No one notice my attempts to turn over a new leaf, I try so hard. All I ask is to give me a chance.
results are back, and i failed like shit.. seriously..i know i'm dumb.. but THIS dumb..come on.. i can't even bear to see the pink slip ever again.. i don't wanna sound like a sissy but.. even i disappoint myself.. there's no other words to describe it.. i'm so lost.. i need to get on with my fucking life. and maybe things don't come my way cause' i forget HIM i don't think of him, i don't thank him.. i feel like i have to prove something to everybody.. your faces say it all...it hit me..i let you guys down i let myself down, maybe i'm crapping and my head is playing with me.. i replayed all kinds of scenario of what could happen.. it's just that i missed the part where i would fail badly.. damn it.. i'm just lucky to have friends like qua, faz, mira, eri, jup, faritz and lately khairi..yes...thanks for the encouragements, that's all i need for now.. u tend to take granted of things and only begin to realize your mistakes once you not...
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