Devil said Dance

i really don't wanna be rude to you, do you think i like it. i wanna apologize if sometimes my words may hurt you. maybe i'm damaged goods. maybe. i really wanna be a good mild mannered person. but sometimes there's so much rage and fucking madness in my heart and i don't know why. i wanna scream, i wanna hurt someone and i wanna cry. all at the same time. i really don't know. ---- i'm so sorry, i didn't mean what i say. i didn't mean to hurt you. i didn't mean for it to be this way. forgive me. cause i know i won't forgive myself. ---- "Trapped inside my own head With nothing but my own fevered dreams to comfort me. I know the pain of the madman; He lives inside of me. I've felt the strength of demons And the weakness of self- preservation. And hope. Hope. Hey, parents, do you know where your kids are tonight? Are they locked away inside of themselves? Are their minds slipping away? Mama hen, mama hen . . . The fox has taken your baby a

the constant bickering and curses are really pissing me off. why do you like to pick on every little thing. why can't you just let it slide. if you want someone that's good in numbers get a bloody accountant you jackass. don't expect everyone and everything to be perfect. you know why i'm tired of you, cos you are a tyrant and fucking jerk.

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sometimes i wonder why i'm like this, always hot tempered and curses are my second language. then i realize, you're like that too. you can never talk to people nicely. you can never not use swear words. i am not a criminal, they are not criminals. don't be a bitch. don't be a fucking jerk. don't make me hate you more, old man. ---

"when everything is so messed up and you feel like giving up. think of tomorrow and how bright it shines. look at the pills in your hands and think what you're doing to yourself. think of the her and be at peace with it. change your life like how you want it to be. don't think of the corruption or how easy they're let off. be strong, inside and out. be strong and keep that smile always." --- the sweat and tears irritates the eyes. but just swallow the pain and crumple it. like it's not there.

The double standard is always a bitch. Being fair is never an option to you, isn't it? I get rubbish whilst your daughters get the best. I'm not being ungrateful but it's just nice to be treated fairly once in a while. --- Let's say a friend is a need of help, would you just help them for the sake of helping or go an extra mile just to make it more worthwhile for them? Don't be so self centered. I don't wanna say anything else. Lol. ---

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you do more for her in a month than me in 18 years, i understand, you don't have to explain to me. i know my place. i know where i come from. it's just nice to be thought of first once in a while. --- forgive me, if i may sound ungrateful. i miss you, mom.

pent up frustrations not doing me any good. i can't walk properly, i can't stand properly, i can't sit properly. --- i will say this a thousand more times, i miss you mak, more than you'll ever know, i want to sit with you, laugh with you, cry with you. i miss you. --- good night.

bias is what bias does. don't try to hide the fact you can't stand my guts with stupid fucked up reasons. it's just saddening, saddening cause nothing changes. i always thought this kind of thing always happen on the telly, never in real life. no hard feelings cos i was never part of your family. so i don't mind. it just hurt, sometimes. --- when you don't have somewhere to call your own personal space then you can talk to me. don't be one fucked up smart alec. bitch ass. --- i don't expect you to understand. have a fucking good day. bye.

you don't see what you're doing. i don't think you even care. if you say you do, you're doing a hell of a job showing it. inside, it's empty. --- i'm not emotional, you think i like to be so emotional. you think i like to be so unhappy. --- amidst the hurricane in my head, i just want to smile honestly. i just want to be normal. the anger, the pain. it just hurts. --- "thy kingdom come" please make me believe you're out there. watching over me. i just want to be happy. --- good night, bitches.

the part that worries me the most is that most fights would fizzle itself out, but this one doesn't seem to anytime die out. i don't like my family. and my family don't like me. it's a win win situation. --- i feel bad for her sometimes, but after that when she fucks my day up. all sense of sympathy's gone. and all i wanna do is to kill them all. kill them all, slow and painfully. yeah, i'm turning out well. a murderous psychopath. i should just turn myself in. --- good day bitches.

nothing's left inside. there's no soul, there's no pain, there's nothing. i'm only left with a memory of what could have been different. life is never fair, there's no other bitter pill than that. --- and did i forget to mention anger. sometimes all i see is a pool of blood, with everyone in it. i fear i could no longer suppress it. so this is how psychotic murderers are born. oh well. --- have a bloody good day.

i wish i was closer to you. i wish we were like last time. i wished we were wishing the same thing. ---- 8 Feb, pls come faster.

i'm cold, hungry and my heart hurts. not that you care. bye.

cold day, cold hearts cold people, cold farts? --- anyway, have i mentioned that i am in love with smallville. haha. i am attracted to a girl that doesn't even know i exist. two hearts living in two different worlds. so ya. fuck it. --- COYS ---