Skip to main content

33

 I'm beginning to have grey hairs,

yet i'm still wandering around like a fucking child.

i'm unsure of a lot of things, living alone and trying to get to the next paycheck month after month is my reality.

people say comparing is bad, but how can i hide from the truth, even i'm not that daft.

to put into perspective, after crossing out the t's and dotting the i's, i have nothing literally.

i have no one, i have no family. i have no friends, i am putting on this fake ass shit mask and pretend everything's good ya know, but it's getting old. real quick.

there is a lot of uncertainty, of whether i still want to make something out of my time here or just take the L and leave. it's not bitching out if there's no point. 

maybe that's the thing isn't it, the point of it all, what is the point of living when you can't win, how long more can i go on and be a bitch and just pretend something will work out and become old and alone and then die of a heart attack or something.

there is no one reading this shit so it's easy to bea honest i guess.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

whenever i feel myself getting near to that edge, near the bottomless pit of depression i just wanna dive in and let go and be at peace. i am living this constant cycle of knowing this will happen but i just don't know when. these dreams are getting darker and darker, i am tired of waking up in tears and sobbing.
Post a Comment
Read more
i feel it all going away, i closed my eyes and my youth is gone and i am old now, with nothing to my name, my shadow being my only company. my dreams get darker by the day, the crevice where my soul should be gets emptier and more hollow. but in my darkest times, memories of people i consider family at one point in my life crosses my mind and before my heart breaks everything seemed okay for that couple of minutes, and then reality sets in. and everything comes into focus how do you go on and pretend everything's okay when you know deep down inside that it's better off dying than to be alone. i have been alone for so long that i find myself actively avoiding everyone even though i want to be around people that want me to be around but that does not exist. everyone leaves eventually and i hate that it's still painful whenever it comes to mind, people i consider friends and family ghosting and eventually i am alone. Maybe that's how my life is supposed to end up, tired an...
Post a Comment
Read more
school's not as great as i would like it to be. but it'll do. potentially great friends. --- "trust is the easiest thing to lose, but one of the hardest to attain"
Post a Comment
Read more