it's been a while since i've been here, many a times i find myself staring at this blank screen, foggy images of recent happenings floating in my head. i don't know where to start and i don't know where to end.. but all i know is that i have a lot of "sorry's" to say, first and foremost, i've not only let myself down, i've let a friend down. i guess i can't please everybody, especially NOT at the same time secondly, to the ranger girls, i'm sorry if i come across as rude and obnoxious sometimes, i just.. i don't know what to say, i don't know.. i'm sorry, ok? i'm so sorry.. people ask me why i bother, i say "he's my friend" but i still mess it up, i know this would happen, i know.. i just don't know why i let it happen. i wish i could replay it back again things are so confusing.. i feel like all this happened before.. my head is so giddy.. i don't want to lose my friends, but why do i do things that