Devil said Dance

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2011-11-16T00:27:00.000+08:00

although we've come to the end of the road,

still i can't let go.

2011-10-20T22:50:00.004+08:00

i really don't wanna be rude to you, do you think i like it.

i wanna apologize if sometimes my words may hurt you.

maybe i'm damaged goods.

maybe.

i really wanna be a good mild mannered person.

but sometimes there's so much rage and fucking madness in my heart and i don't know why.

i wanna scream, i wanna hurt someone and i wanna cry.

all at the same time.

i really don't know.

----

i'm so sorry,

i didn't mean what i say.

i didn't mean to hurt you.

i didn't mean for it to be this way.

forgive me.

cause i know i won't forgive myself.

----

"Trapped inside my own head
With nothing but my own fevered dreams to comfort me.
I know the pain of the madman;
He lives inside of me.
I've felt the strength of demons
And the weakness of self- preservation.
And hope. Hope.
Hey, parents, do you know where your kids are tonight?
Are they locked away inside of themselves?
Are their minds slipping away?
Mama hen, mama hen . . .
The fox has taken your baby again.
Precious minds are a shame to waste
Memories are forgotten in haste.
I am losing all that is me . . .
Yet gaining something entirely different.
Something that acts like an animal
And speaks like God.
Comforts me like a best friend
And loves me like its child.
I am its child.
An innocent brat, ready for its teachings.
Ready to do what is told to me.
Believing all that is said to me.
Taking in all.
And living off of my fevered dreams."

2011-10-08T22:54:00.002+08:00

the constant bickering and curses are really pissing me off. why do you like to pick on every little thing. why can't you just let it slide. if you want someone that's good in numbers get a bloody accountant you jackass. don't expect everyone and everything to be perfect. you know why i'm tired of you, cos you are a tyrant and fucking jerk.

2011-08-21T16:22:00.001+08:00

http://www.sold.sg/adpromo?afcd=friend&friend_id=bd47d69eb1551bffe64415eae919d72c17b66fd0

2011-08-11T15:22:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder why i'm like this,

always hot tempered and curses are my second language.

then i realize, you're like that too.

you can never talk to people nicely.

you can never not use swear words.

i am not a criminal, they are not criminals.

don't be a bitch.

don't be a fucking jerk.

don't make me hate you more, old man.

---

2011-06-08T23:11:00.002+08:00

"when everything is so messed up and you feel like giving up.

think of tomorrow and how bright it shines.

look at the pills in your hands and think what you're doing to yourself.

think of the her and be at peace with it.

change your life like how you want it to be.

don't think of the corruption or how easy they're let off.

be strong, inside and out.

be strong and keep that smile always."

---

the sweat and tears irritates the eyes.

but just swallow the pain and crumple it.

like it's not there.

2011-05-31T17:38:00.001+08:00

The double standard is always a bitch. Being fair is never an option to you, isn't it? I get rubbish whilst your daughters get the best. I'm not being ungrateful but it's just nice to be treated fairly once in a while.
---
Let's say a friend is a need of help, would you just help them for the sake of helping or go an extra mile just to make it more worthwhile for them?
Don't be so self centered.
I don't wanna say anything else. Lol.
---

2011-04-27T18:03:00.001+08:00

deals, discount, cashback and more

2011-04-18T16:34:00.002+08:00

you do more for her in a month than me in 18 years,

i understand, you don't have to explain to me.

i know my place. i know where i come from.

it's just nice to be thought of first once in a while.

---

forgive me, if i may sound ungrateful.

i miss you, mom.

2011-02-21T21:36:00.002+08:00

pent up frustrations not doing me any good.

i can't walk properly,

i can't stand properly,

i can't sit properly.

---

i will say this a thousand more times,

i miss you mak,

more than you'll ever know,

i want to sit with you,

laugh with you,

cry with you.

i miss you.

---

good night.

2011-02-02T14:19:00.002+08:00

bias is what bias does.
don't try to hide the fact you can't stand my guts
with stupid fucked up reasons.
it's just saddening, saddening cause nothing
changes.
i always thought this kind of thing always happen
on the telly, never in real life.
no hard feelings cos i was never part of your family.
so i don't mind.
it just hurt, sometimes.
---
when you don't have somewhere to call your own personal space
then you can talk to me.
don't be one fucked up smart alec.
bitch ass.
---
i don't expect you to understand.
have a fucking good day.
bye.

2011-01-19T22:59:00.002+08:00

you don't see what you're doing.
i don't think you even care.
if you say you do,
you're doing a hell of a job showing it.
inside, it's empty.
---
i'm not emotional,
you think i like to be so emotional.
you think i like to be so unhappy.
---
amidst the hurricane in my head,
i just want to smile honestly.
i just want to be normal.
the anger, the pain.
it just hurts.
---
"thy kingdom come"
please make me believe you're out there.
watching over me.
i just want to be happy.
---
good night, bitches.

2011-01-17T14:31:00.002+08:00

the part that worries me the most is that most fights would fizzle itself out,
but this one doesn't seem to anytime die out.
i don't like my family.
and my family don't like me.
it's a win win situation.
---
i feel bad for her sometimes,
but after that when she fucks my day up.
all sense of sympathy's gone.
and all i wanna do is to kill them all.
kill them all, slow and painfully.
yeah, i'm turning out well.
a murderous psychopath.
i should just turn myself in.
---
good day bitches.

2011-01-14T18:40:00.002+08:00

nothing's left inside.
there's no soul, there's no pain, there's nothing.
i'm only left with a memory of what could have been different.
life is never fair,
there's no other bitter pill than that.
---
and did i forget to mention anger.
sometimes all i see is a pool of blood,
with everyone in it.
i fear i could no longer suppress it.
so this is how psychotic murderers are born.
oh well.
---
have a bloody good day.

2011-01-11T14:00:00.001+08:00

i wish i was closer to you.
i wish we were like last time.
i wished we were wishing the same thing.
----
8 Feb, pls come faster.

2011-01-06T00:00:00.000+08:00

i'm cold,
hungry and my heart hurts.
not that you care.
bye.

2011-01-03T14:37:00.002+08:00

cold day, cold hearts
cold people, cold farts?
---
anyway,
have i mentioned that i am in love with smallville.
haha.
i am attracted to a girl that doesn't even know i exist.
two hearts living in two different worlds.
so ya.
fuck it.
---
COYS
---

2010-12-31T23:36:00.002+08:00

new year huh?
i miss confiding here.
i miss mama.
i wish we were together to celebrate the new year.
i will meet you again.
i can't wait.
and i love you.
and have a good new year.
to my non existent readers.

2010-10-12T20:54:00.003+08:00

money's a bitch.
too much and it control you.
too little and you become a criminal.
---
you shouldn't have made me one of your own.
now i want your other children have.
i know i'm selfish.
but in the end,
we have to be.
---
sometimes, i feel that suicide is the only way out.
i know, i know.
"you're being naive, god doesn't like it"
screw god.
where is he when i needed him.
i'm done.
---
i'm sorry for not updating.
i feel that i've lost myself.
soul searching starts all over again.
---
i miss you, mom.

2010-06-17T23:36:00.002+08:00

your day is not done until you make it hell for me, isn't it.
i try to be nice.
i try to be reasonable.
seriously, go fuck yourself.
i literally don't give a rat's ass what you think.
i hate you.
it kills me.
what you're doing.
i have been withstanding it all my life.
god, pls take my soul.
i know this sounds so gay.
but try walking in my shoes.
i'm not asking for your sympathy,
i just want you to understand me.
---
i just want to lead a normal life,
i want to have a normal family.
i want to have a normal life.
is that so hard to ask.
really?
---
there is this big, empty hole where my heart used to be.
and no, i'm not talking about a girl.
i want to feel wanted.
i want to feel cared for.
i want to feel that i'm needed.
i'm just repeating myself, i know.
but i don't care.
---
i see my friends who are close to their parents and i feel like crying.
i hear their parents tell their children they love them and i feel jealous like hell.
i don't care what you say.
i just want to know how it feels like.
---
see you soon, blogger.
i love you.

2010-06-02T12:51:00.000+08:00

In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tribulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart.

2010-04-13T21:08:00.000+08:00

Smoking alone along the stairway, beat that!

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2010-04-09T00:50:00.001+08:00

mother fucker!

2010-04-04T14:41:00.002+08:00

the reason why the two of you always argue
is because you both have the fucking same character.
you don't see it.
the people caught in between can see it.
---
yes i don't make the grades,
yes i don't get the awards,
but i still have feelings.
i still do.
---
i know money is tight but...
maybe i don't understand.
but you don't understand me.
---
how can you marry someone for 25 fucking years
and fucking fight every single fucking day.
i'm sick of it,
i'm sick of you.
---
i don't have many things to look forward to,
i think i complain too much.
i think you do too.
but this is my space.
so get the fuck out.
bitches.

2010-04-02T09:22:00.002+08:00

i know no one cares,
but happy 205th birthday to
Hans Christian Andersen.
---
and 1 more thing,
i can do whatever you can do,
better i daresay.
and i am no petty thief,
i don't walk that path any more.
so screw you and your 50's fucking mindset.

2010-03-30T17:23:00.002+08:00

my baby is back.
18-0.

2010-03-27T00:21:00.002+08:00

class chalet sucks,
period.
---
Dear NS,
please take me far
away from here.

2010-03-10T21:15:00.000+08:00

graduation.
like finally.
PES E,
OMFG!

2010-03-07T00:02:00.002+08:00

i keep going back and forth.
not knowing if i'm gonna stick with the plan.
i keep going back and forth.
damn it, man.
---
ok think about this for a sec.
FREEWILL
what if there's no such thing as freewill,
a delusion we force our self to believe in
to give us a reason to do the things we do.
what if everything is scripted.
like you coming here and reading this.
now what's the chances of that, huh.
think about it.
---
"repent and thou shalt be saved."

2010-02-23T21:47:00.002+08:00

"we hold on to whatever we have left,
as we fear the darkness.
slowly creeping to us.
slowly but surely,
it envelopes us.
until faith is the only thing we have left."
--
i will miss you,
even though i don't show it.
see you on the other side.

2010-02-21T20:38:00.001+08:00

as he walks on,
without fear in his eyes.
sweat dripping from his forehead.
he looked back as he leaves his past behind.

and he slowly break down.
---

2010-02-17T19:16:00.002+08:00

Have you ever been at a crossroads where every decision you make is gonna fuck you up.
It's not a nice feeling.

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2010-02-15T12:47:00.001+08:00

2010-01-30T20:57:00.002+08:00

damn, shitty night.
penniless,
tired.
GREAT!
---
have you ever felt that you've done everything you can,
and be back at square one.
---
bowing under the status quo,
bowing under the common rule.
---
and what is this hype about the upcoming MUSE concert in the next couple of days,
i got nothing against them,
but i just can't stand a few overzealous fans,
seriously irritating the fuck outta me.
good job, bitch.
---
can't wait for june.
heh.

It is time.

2010-01-15T00:22:00.001+08:00

A change is coming,
It is time.
---
Straight-edge, I daresay.

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Aghast

2010-01-08T11:46:00.001+08:00

Starting the day with a kick.
Some accuses and a whole lot of curses.
Shoving it all under the rug, that's how I'm making it through day by day.
---
"it keeps coming, it doesn't show any compassion, it will kill you at the slightest chance it gets."
---

The new year

2010-01-04T15:57:00.001+08:00

So much for the hype about 2010,
Already hating school.
---
Read this carefully,
Let bygones be bygones.
---
Good day

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Hate.

2009-12-24T23:13:00.000+08:00

It sucks to be sitting all alone at weddings. Hi, I'm anti-social.

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One more gone.

2009-12-23T01:21:00.001+08:00

1977-2009.
RIP Brittany Murphy.

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Fools

2009-12-22T15:55:00.001+08:00

"Eh, nak pergi skolah pon nak dress up per?"
lame ass.

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Fuck this shit

2009-12-19T13:12:00.000+08:00

It's a talent.
It's a talent how you make everything into my fucking fault.
Fucking dickhead motherfucker pussy ass son of a bitch.

Good day

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Farewell

2009-12-14T09:31:00.001+08:00

Rest in peace.
Edward "Umaga" Fatu.

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Slengeh face....

2009-12-13T01:02:00.000+08:00

What the fuck!!
Bloody Wolves!!!
COYS!!
You can do better than that..

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Nooooo...

2009-12-12T11:12:00.001+08:00

My fucking laptop died. With all of my data, fuck fuck fuck.
Warranty my ass.

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2009-12-04T20:12:00.002+08:00

equals to:

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Screwed up

2009-11-23T23:29:00.001+08:00

My mom can buy my sister a car, and she totally blew me off when I asked her if she could buy me a new pair of slippers when mine tore. Seriously FML.

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Nabey

2009-11-23T01:10:00.001+08:00

What a win,
9-1,
COYS

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Kiss my ass, bitch

2009-11-20T00:46:00.001+08:00

Let me tell you a little story about a bitch of a sister of mine, she had an arguement with her stupid boyfriend one night while I was indulging on my playstation. She had an episode where she had a bitch fit and had trouble breathing, literaly. I wouldn't actually give a damn if she didn't fucking woke the whole fucking house up with her stupid wailing. No one can curse like how my father can, the way he curse my sister. Wooooh.
That is the only fun thing about this stupid ordeal, haha.
Off to bribe the paramedic to give my sister some lethal injection with some kind of poison, bye and have a good night.

Damn right I said it

2009-11-17T20:55:00.001+08:00

Fuck, fuck, fuck
This is not my fucking day.
Fuck you world

2009-11-11T11:24:00.001+08:00

May temasek polytechnic explode and burn all their bus-dominating fuckhead students.
Out.

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2009-11-08T22:04:00.001+08:00

I was molested, haha.
Jason sucks.
Haha.

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Walking on thin ice

2009-11-08T01:05:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think I'm too nice,
Keyword sometimes.
Self-proclaimed cool people.
You can come and kiss my fat ass.
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Why bother?

2009-10-30T18:03:00.001+08:00

She's one of those girls who only exist in fairytales, not even in your wildest dreams can you have a chance with her. And when there's a chance that you can talk to her, the odds are with you that you're gonna blow it. Isn't life wonderful! I love you iPhone.

Bye

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Idiocracy

2009-10-28T16:33:00.001+08:00

Not my fucking day, seriously. Bye

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2009-10-25T09:15:00.001+08:00

One day, Spurs is really gonna kill me, fuck singtel and fuck whelan

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2009-10-23T11:15:00.001+08:00

Fuck the charge, fuck school and most of all fuck you all.

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Kill me

2009-10-20T11:23:00.002+08:00

Class is fucking boring, all I hear is blah blah blah.. Bye

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2009-10-20T00:31:00.001+08:00

I am T-pain app for iPhone is superb. Haha. Superb i tell you.

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2009-10-19T09:48:00.001+08:00

Did I mentioned that I hate school? It sucks to wake up early on a Monday morning. Off to school, I go. Have a nice day.

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Redundant

2009-10-17T09:18:00.000+08:00

It's so much easier to blog with an iphone, god bless apple.
Anyway, have you ever felt that you were mistreated in any way, being patronized. And the feeling where everything is unfair, it sucks, doesn't it.

"know your friends well, know your enemy better"

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2009-10-08T20:50:00.000+08:00

woah,
what a week, what a week.
friend,
what's your definition of it?
tell me,
in whatever way you think is fit.

2009-10-03T13:41:00.002+08:00

it sucks to be you,
it's worse to be me.
win-win situation, ain't it.
---
"and he left his child back in the car
where he knew that the windows were
all wound up."

2009-09-27T12:04:00.003+08:00

"If opposites attract,
then my SOFT hands would
be loaded with cold, HARD cash."
Archibald "Archie" Andrews
---
one more thing,
do you ask for forgiveness or seek it?
or i am just being my normal paranoid, delusional self.

2009-09-24T11:30:00.002+08:00

there's one thing being spastic and special,
and there's another being a stupid, dim-witted, ass wipe of a bloody matrep.
to be fair, i can easily bash your stupid nose in.
but why would i?
you only said pukimak..
aduh,
tak sedar diri,
matrep time lambat.
bedok, bedok...
will never change.
---
hahaha!
one more thing,
it sucks to have fuck-ingly hot relatives.
hahaha!

2009-09-21T14:49:00.002+08:00

come on people, don't be stingy.
give me your money.
---
note to self,
check whether there's a makcik behind you
before you watch soccer.
sorry makcik for all the vulgarities.

2009-09-19T12:24:00.002+08:00

i hate the holidays,
i hate being around fake people,
i hate hari raya.

2009-09-09T22:49:00.000+08:00

i just wrote like a fucking long post bitching about my life,
but i guess blogger is being a bitch to me right now.
i think it's good if no one read that post,
haha.
emo bastard.
god bless you!

2009-09-06T13:19:00.003+08:00

superb.
please make it rain Iphones.

2009-09-05T15:41:00.002+08:00

i'm not gonna apologize if things don't go your way.
and yeah, how the hell would i know things were this bad.
it's so much easier to blame others than to admit our mistakes.
---
screw those who see themselves as angels,
take that mentality and go shove it up your ass.

2009-08-19T00:03:00.000+08:00

well, happy 19th to me..thanks to all the wish-givers.
though some of them were surprising, i really appreciate it.
thx for getting yourself admitted, pa.
---
i miss u, 'real parents'

2009-08-15T21:16:00.002+08:00

no matter how we see it,
we'll always be different.
no matter how close we think we are,
we'll always be alone.
it's fucking retarded,
think about it.
---
"redemption awaits for thee who accepts me"
how self absorbed can a guy get?

2009-08-09T10:26:00.000+08:00

you know how when they make everything into your fault,
when it's their problem in the first place
and it's so much easier to blame some fool
which i guess is me.
i will leave when it's my time to leave,
i'm sorry if i've burdened you for most of my life.
it sucks to know that this is how you guys feel about me,
after all this time.
after all the fake smiles and fake laughs.
and you know what is the most fucked up thing about all this,
i really wanted to change.
---
"i'm losing my sanity,
talking in a 3rd person point of view.
it's not painful,
it just hurt.
get my drift."
---
school is the last thing on my mind,
easing into the option of dropping out.
it's easy to give up,
but i see it as the only way to escape,
even though that sound so juvenile.
---
it's not my fucking problem that you wanna use my money to
keep this fucking family up.
how the fuck would i know that you wanna use it.
and again,
it's my fault.
it always has been.
to you.
---
you know when you reach this point,
a point where it doesn't matter anymore,
a point where vulgarities just go through you,
a point where it's just doesn't feel right when you're being nice.
then you would know how i feel.
---
is it wrong to be noticed sometime.
to be appreciated,
to be smiled at.
---
i bitch cos i have to,
not because i want to.
---
don't get me wrong,
in a crooked and sick way,
i understand why you have to side them.
i understand why you have to be so bias and unreasonable.
but i just want you to know that you're killing me.
what more can i say.
i can write a thousand more words to satisfy myself,
but i don't see any good in doing that cos
this is all just a
repetitive,
fucked up
cycle in this inglorious life of mine.
---
“In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope.
In a world filled with anger,
we must still dare to comfort.
In a world filled with despair,
we must still dare to dream.
And in a world filled with distrust,
we must still dare to believe.”

2009-08-05T18:51:00.000+08:00

you gotta love the baby, haha!

2009-07-28T23:35:00.000+08:00

yeah, i know..i know
this is fucking rude,
but being me..
i nearly pissed myself watching this.
sorry Micheal,
i just can't resist.

2009-07-27T17:22:00.001+08:00

deal with it,
he said.
---
"No man is happy without a delusion of some kind.
Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities."

Christian Nestell Bovee

2009-07-23T11:01:00.002+08:00

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves."

Francois de la Roche Foucald

2009-07-19T19:35:00.002+08:00

the things people do for the ones they love.
incredible things,
stupid things.
and most of the time not thinking.
---
haa..
Angel is superb,
reminiscing about my childhood.

----------------
Now playing: Chris Brown feat Andre Meritt - Electric Guitar
via FoxyTunes

2009-07-03T15:46:00.002+08:00

"system overload"
how do i get past this?
---
it's nice to be smiled at once in a while.
it's nice to be appreciated once in a while.
---
heading downwards with a smile,
try it.
----------------
Now playing: Nat King Cole - My Life
via FoxyTunes

2009-06-26T18:39:00.006+08:00

R.I.P. Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009)
God Bless You!
He was my childhood,
I wish i had a chance to meet him.
My thoughts are with you, Michael.

“Do not fear death... only the unlived life.
You don't have to live forever ,
You just have to live.”

2009-06-19T11:33:00.000+08:00

it's beginning to bore,
seriously.
drag me to hell,
no i will go there myself.

2009-06-14T12:43:00.000+08:00

it's done and over,
and i'm not good enough,
boo to the fucking hoo,
haha.
---

2009-06-02T20:24:00.000+08:00

4 more days

2009-05-28T19:30:00.002+08:00

how do we tie back torn knots,
how do we light up a fire in a hurricane.
---
it's like a prison,
restricted movements,
with a bitch always there behind you.
hah.
---

2009-05-23T18:44:00.001+08:00

i have a friend with unique aims,
a simple person with simple needs.
not quite what i'm used to,
but we're becoming great friends

2009-05-20T19:09:00.002+08:00

a brand new drive,
that's what i need.
---
walking on thin ice is very satisfying
while noticing it cracks.
---
this is very misleading,
it's like trying to sew back up pants
that has torn over a million times.
---
it's refreshing to read blogs that share experiences
with friends, good or bad.
it reminds me of what i used to have.
haha.
---

2009-05-09T21:56:00.002+08:00

why try to be somebody you're not?
it ain't worth it.
trust me, i know.

i feel like doing this to some people, haha

2009-05-06T17:32:00.001+08:00

Your results:
You are Hulk

Hulk		85%
Spider-Man		75%
Green Lantern		70%
Iron Man		70%
Catwoman		60%
Batman		55%
Robin		55%
The Flash		50%
Supergirl		40%
Superman		35%
Wonder Woman		30%

You are a wanderer with
amazing strength.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

2009-05-02T13:57:00.002+08:00

it hurts when the people who are close to you
don't trust you.
and they don't bother to hide the fact that they
don't trust you.
and when you realize that everything is fake,
that's when it's too late.
you feel like crying but you've got no more tears to.
you wanna do something about it but deep in your heart,
you know that nothing will change.
and that's when you realize that you are alone.
no one else matters but yourself.
and that's that.
---
it hurts,
haha.
i'm about to have a breakdown.
stay away.
---
"the morning rays drowns the dark, cold night.
fighting the urges to commit these sins.
keeping my faith as strong as it can ever be.
i wear my heart on my sleeve only for you to see."

2009-05-01T12:42:00.002+08:00

there is this little bit of hypocrisy in each one of us.
how hard we try to deny it,
how hard we try to divert the attention.
---
"man is a victim of his own habits", someone told me.
---
taking 1 day in each stride,
school's a bore,
---
look out your window,
and see those boys playing soccer
with bottles or just kicking rocks.
you have no idea what i would give
to be one of those boys.
---
i'm not ashamed to say that i am a hypocrite,
i wish i could just blurt out names, names and more names
but that woud not be nice would it.
it takes one to know one, they say.
and hell yeah do i agree with it.
---
peace,
mo'fuckers

2009-04-25T20:57:00.003+08:00

what does it mean to behave appropriately,
to act your age?
we are being scrutinized every time we step
out of the house.
do we allow them to get under our skin or
do we grow a brain and let bygones be bygones.
---
friends.
where the hell do i start,
you can't live without them
but they are one of the most painful and
hardest thing to maintain.
you can pretend that you know a person for a very long time,
but when things are the most complicated,
they are nothing more than a stranger.
that's when it hurts like hell.
what are some things "friends" fight over,
the first few things that came to my mind are,
girls,
clothes,
money,
jealousy,
girls and more girls.
i don't want to get into detail of the other things as
these already prove to be very stupid.
i must admit i am not a very good friend either,
i'm sure most of you agree on that,
---
do we fix broken relationships,
or do we sit all day mulling over what could have been.
if we choose the logical one, is it worth it?
---
music can really save souls,
it's saving mine.
---

2009-04-22T21:11:00.002+08:00

Don't Quit

by: Unknown Author

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

---

2009-04-15T20:39:00.003+08:00

i've removed the tagboard,
stupid spammers.
---
school's getting interesting,
and for the first time in over 6 years,
i'm interested in school.
---
hah!
---
i get it now,
no matter how long i wait.
you'll never come back.
i'll deal with it.
denial is indeed more easier
than the cold, hard truth.
---
"We like to think that we are rational beings;
humane,
conscientious,
civilized,
thoughtful.
But when things fall apart, even just a little,
it becomes clear, we are not better than animals.
We think, we walk erect, we speak, we dream,
but deep down we're still routing around in the primordial ooze;
biting, clawing, scratching out an existence in the cold,
dark world like the rest of the tree-toads and sloths."

i want to congratulate those who finally got what they wanted, have a good life.

2009-04-14T00:01:00.001+08:00

school's not as great as i would like it to be.
but it'll do.
potentially great friends.
---
"trust is the easiest thing to lose,
but one of the hardest to attain"

2009-04-09T14:29:00.003+08:00

"that sick feeling in your gut,
when you disappoint people around you.
when they talk with a low voice,
when you realized that you have crossed the line.
too far out that looking back doesn't help.
you wish that you can go back,
and just change the past."

2009-04-07T20:10:00.009+08:00

i've been watching the news these few days,
surprisingly to some.
and i've heard about the earthquake in Italy.
quite bad for a mere 6.3 magnitude,
considered a baby to some seismologist.

---

fun fact,
this is what i think of arguments on the internet.

just laugh, fuckers!

---

thanks for the good times, steve.
Wrestlemania was fucking awesome!

2009-04-03T19:32:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Qamarul.

---

i've done things that i've learn to regret.
somethings that are undo-able.
that no amount of sorry's that can be forgiven.
i've hurt people in ways that i wish i hadn't.

---

i don't know who i can trust anymore,
i used to think that friends don't talk about each
other behind their backs.
i used to think that all these could have been a misunderstanding,
but maybe they're like that.
they like to lie.
deceive.

---

could it be that i'm the hypocritical one.

---

i never meant for all this to happen,
i really didn't.

---

"i wish i could retrace my steps,
i wish i could repay all my debts.
i heard all the things you said to me,
it saddens me cos it's reality.
i haven't been the best of character,
neither would you,
if you were in my shoes,
you would probably wither and disappear."

2009-04-01T14:13:00.002+08:00

how do i say what i wanna say without saying it.
don't bother thinking.
---
it was fun while it lasted.

2009-03-29T21:28:00.004+08:00

is there a guide book to tell
you what to feel after certain
things just don't work out?
if there is,
please tell me.
---
it sucks.
yes, it does.
---
i'm poor.
i need money
seriously

2009-03-20T10:33:00.009+08:00

well,
what do you want to be when
you grow up?
what do you want to do?
---

---
remember when you were playing with the
space shuttle and wanted to become an astronaut.
remember when you were playing with barbie
and you wanted to become a princess.
the smiles on the faces,
the laughter echoing through
the hallways.
we believed we can be that,
but it's just not exactly it.
We GROW up and forget those dreams,
some of us even throw away those dreams.
---
Being an adult teach us to be a realist.
Being an adult demands us to be matured.
Why?
Why does some of us forget the childhood dream?
---

Don't be like him, haha!

2009-03-13T21:40:00.002+08:00

remember the first time you made a friend,
at pre-school, at primary school perhaps.
when you try your best to impress that person.
not caring about how the person looks, even smells like..
you just want a friend. a friend to laugh with.
a friend to even cry with maybe.
it's so nice, to just even feel that you have a friend
even for just a day.
it doesn't have to last,
it just had to be fun.
---
others can say what they want,
they can try to make you feel miserable
because they are just jealous of what you're feeling,
the feeling to befriend somebody.
the feeling of friendship simply.
---
yes,
i admit it.
i wish i could re-do what i have done.
so many things,
so many things.
but like you,
i just want to be happy for even a moment with a friend.
i just want to feel that wondrous thing again.
---
we have swallowed a lot of shit by this thing
called life.
a lot.
but why isn't it molding us into the "perfect" person
our parents wants us to be.
why aren't we?
---
some say i have a sad life,
some may even say i'm a fake.
well i agree with them.
i am sad and i am fake,
i can be whatever you want me to be.
i can be happy
and i can be sad.
i can be nice
and bloody hell i can even be mean.
but i don't care.
i don't care what you think.
---
for those who have read until this far,
i salute you.
ponder on this.
thanks friend.